im so fucking lonely. i can't even explain it....its like theres a huge hole inside of me and i can't fill it. at all. and i hate feeling this god damn helpless...i thought that maybe getting away for my spring break would be a good thing for me, but it only opened the void more...not even writing makes me forget anymore...it's like i don't even know myself anymore and it scares the shit out of me because i used to know who i was...now i question every motive i have, almost as if i'm afraid to do what i want to do because it'll be socially unacceptable...or seomthing. christ. i don't even know why i question my motives...