deviousone on Tuesday, May. 11, 2004 at 7:49 pm
attempt at being meaningful that failed.


Emily : the diaries look different w/diaryland..
Emily : on DJ/LJ, unless you're good at HTML and you know how to do it, they all look the same
Bec/Kylie : yeah
Bec/Kylie : EMILY =|
Emily : KYLIE
Bec/Kylie : I DONT SEE A DEEP AND MEANIGFUL ENTRY IN YOUR DIARY DAMMIT
Bec/Kylie : =|
Emily : HAHAHHA

Due to request, here's my attempt to write something deep and meaningful.

I felt really seperated from my friends today. I guess I'm feeling like that more and more lately...it really sucks.

Dr. Sullivan says I seem to be doing better. I think I'm just getting better at hiding how I feel...

They really bother me sometimes. not that I'm jealous (maybe I am?) but because it's how we used to be. and it makes me really sad...because it just makes me feel like I don't have anyone here anymore. and I hate it...I'm begnning to depend more and more on Becca and Kylie. Which I guess is good because I mean, there's really only one more year left here for me, right? But what about now? I hate seeing people with their perfect fucking lives and their perfect everything because it's human nature to not be perfect. and being the perfectionist that I am, I want to be like every stereotypical girl out there.

I didn't plan on being the paranoid, over analytical person that I am. I'm sorry that I'm not skinny, or beautiful, or perfect but FUCK. I can't change it.

I feel like I'm sharing too much. But Kylie told me to write so write I shall...just not at the moment because the series finale of Friends is about to begin and I need to go cry my eyes out over that. I'll be back...

I've always wanted the kind of friendship that the people on Friends had...

fuck.

i can't be meaningful.

what the fuck have I come to?

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