deviousone on Monday, Jul. 26, 2004 at 10:29 am
he's not zach...he's better


Last night I realized just how much I really do love him. I've never been like this with a guy here...always wanting to be around him, always touching him (even if it's on the shoe when he's resting his feet on my knees), just looking at him and smiling...and I hate it. I know that nothing will come from it, I mean...
  • 1) Marissa, his girlfriend (who I don't want to meet ever because I know she's prettier than me and that he loves her more than me and I'm insanely jealous)
  • 2) Because he's shipping out in September (I told him I'd support him, even if he did go and get his brains blown out, but last night when he told us all when he was leaving, I nearly started to cry thinking about it.)
  • 3) We're the best of friends. If we were to do anything, it'd ruin what we have and I know that in the long run, I'd prefer him as my friend.
    I just want it so bad right now...I want to experience it before he leaves. Before my whole world collapses. because he is that. I can't even begin to explain the feelings that were going through me when I saw him yesterday... ugh. i hate this. knowing that the person you love will never see you the way you see them.

    back & forth